Scope and Contents 00:00 Nick [N] born 1972. Mum a shop manager and Dad a painter and decorator, now a retired fireman. Brought up in Bellshill, a working-class mining town in North Lanarkshire. N left Bellshill at 18, did not fit in. Siblings and extended family still live traditional life there, having children when young. N wasn’t like that.02:12 Always felt different. Named a ‘tomboy’: liked the ‘boy’ part, but different from other tomboys. Identified more with boys but different, not a girl or...

Scope and Contents 00:00 First relationship: Alison, 10 years older, worked at Celino’s Italian restaurant, Glasgow. Alison seemed rich and freer. Met at Bennets in October 1989: the following June, Alison asked N to move in. N afraid to tell Mum, so told her and left home day after: little brother affected. When N shares coming out story, would say Mum accepting because not emotional, ‘nothing happened’.03:54 Moved in with Alison, got job at same restaurant: N had little experience of restaurants,...

Scope and Contents 00:00 Started access course at Coatbridge College: loved it, didn’t find it difficult. Started college androgynous, introduced self as ’Nicky’. Class of 13, 1 man coming out as gay, half of class had a same-sex-experience: stories shared over alcohol. Most brilliant and worst of times: N internalised concerns, but wrote every night about feelings.02:42 G.P. visit: N disclosed struggles with gender, G.P. focused on sexuality. N frustrated, felt had to lie about sexual attraction...

Scope and Contents 00:00 N was expected to want genital surgery: wanted flat chest but comfortable with existing genitals. ‘True transsexual’ diagnosis focused on genitals, so pressure to say wanted phalloplasty. ‘All or nothing’ attitude, ‘gender identity disorder’ so expected to take all treatments. Trans men N knows have no interest in genital surgery. Peer support informs people now but N fears people may have unnecessary surgery due to medical model. Hierarchy in trans community: N dislikes where those...

Scope and Contents 00:00 N partly convinced self of being heterosexual male: was attracted to women, but always more attracted to masculinity as a gender expression, rather than an individual’s sex. Tried to live up to stereotype of masculinity, though N knew it was false. Tried to have ‘high femme’ girlfriend, while N’s getting off with androgynous woman was kept secret, as it looked more lesbian than heterosexual male.03:45 N struggles with labels: acts or thinks in a way that contradicts the...

Scope and Contents 00:00 Nick [N] born 1972. Mum a shop manager and Dad a painter and decorator, now a retired fireman. Brought up in Bellshill, a working-class mining town in North Lanarkshire. N left Bellshill at 18, did not fit in. Siblings and extended family still live traditional life there, having children when young. N wasn’t like that.02:12 Always felt different. Named a ‘tomboy’: liked the ‘boy’ part, but different from other tomboys. Identified more with boys but different, not a girl or...

Scope and Contents 00:00 Stewart Brown [SB] born 1970 Dumbarton. Moved to Linwood, Renfrewshire. Moved to Paisley aged 24. One brother. Lived next to school. Nice neighbourhood. Aged 13-14 thought ‘something not quite right’ because didn’t fancy girls. Bullied at primary school, remembers coming home crying. Teachers were aware of it but were not prepared to do anything about it. Enjoyed school. Linwood High school. Good student, academic achievements, stayed on for 5th year.04:38 Began thinking...

Scope and Contents 1988-1989 period of change. Gay scene difficult by public transport from Linwood, but passed driving test. Court Bar was first experience of gay bar: mainly middle-aged men. Bennets nearby: gay nightclub full of happy people. Wanted to be part of it, but had to think about gay men as scourge of society, and not wanting parents to know. Took it step by step: another month before went back on the gay scene. Apprehensive about approaching someone. Relationship for 6 months with man 9 years...

Scope and Contents 00:00 Continues about naivety. Talks about sectarianism in West of Scotland and Northern Ireland: bigger problem than being gay. In Northern Ireland they were not interested in gay issues: religion, race, women and disability came before gay issues, which they didn’t want to top the agenda. People want to know more there, but naivety in the fire service and union, where they were scared about talking about the issues.04:35 Fire service has moved on dramatically. At settling-in...

Scope and Contents 00:00 Following Section 28 battle and firefighters’ dispute, it’s important to talk to schools – fire safety and fairness message: firefighters are from all different groups, including LGBT. Need to be open to pupils. Gay firefighters would open up career to people who may feel excluded.03:45 Had no role models or set goals. Never looked to be someone else. Absence of positive role models. In primary school, policeman visited. Stereotypes in media – John Inman, Larry Grayson: SB...